literature

Tick Tock

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Literature Text

It was just after two in the morning and she sat there in the stillness of the room, watching the darkness play tricks on her good eye, making her think the shadows were moving when they weren’t. When she had been little, she used to try and make friends with these shadows, and once kindly asked them to stay away from her good eye. She didn’t mind being blind on her right side, but she didn’t want to only see darkness for the rest of her life. She loved colors too much. A soft mutter and quietly Saphiria looked over the man sleeping next to her, his dark hair falling against his brow, eyes flitting beneath closed eyelids as he dreamed. It had taken hours for him to finally go to sleep—it had been days since he last had, but that was normal for him, so she never worried too much—and now that he was, she gently threw the covers off of her, and swung her legs off the bed, taking a moment to look at her pale feet in the dim lighting of the room.

She didn’t know why she was so restless, or why her heart ached like it did, it wasn’t raining out, and the stars were clearly visible—well they would be if the lights of the city didn’t blur them out, leaving only the blinking of planes and helicopters overhead—but she still felt as though she needed to cry out, her shaking hands a testament to built up--

Built up what?

She wasn’t angry, and at the heart of it, she knew this wasn’t the empty sadness she sometimes felt. This… this emotion gnawed at her very core, made her want to throw things and rage about in a fit, but also made her want to crumple to the floor and stare at the wall for hours, waiting for something that would never happen. She pressed the palms of her hands to the edge of the mattress, eyes still fixated on her dangling feet, but not really seeing them anymore; her mind was miles away, or rather, that’s what it felt like as she searched through her mind, trying to figure out what was triggering this episode. But inside, her thoughts seemed to be hiding behind a black mass of dark ice, and every time she struck at it or tried to get through, it felt as though the wall lashed back, flinging her back and making her sink deeper into her current state. She shivered as a strand of her hair fell across her shoulder and her eyes focused once more.

Carefully she began to ease her way up, and nearly cried out with fear as a hand touched hers. Quickly she looked back at Ktori, but the man appeared to still be fast asleep, but as she watched, she noticed his breathing was different from before. He was awake, and he knew she knew he was awake, but—as was always his way—he was silently giving her the indication that he was there if she needed. And she always needed him, but tonight, she needed something different, and it wasn’t something he could give her. A side of her mouth quirked up wryly at the thought of how much he’d hate to know that, the fact that there was nothing he could do but let her figure this out. So instead she gave his fingers a swift squeeze.

I love you.

A little sigh.

I’ll be right back.

A little smile thrown over her shoulder that she knew he’d see.

I’ll be okay.

She stood and walked slowly to the door leading to the tiny living room, closing the door behind her before making a beeline to the white couch, momentarily pausing to feel the plush rug against her—oddly—aching feet. Against her usual nature, she didn’t sprawl out on the couch, didn’t fall face first onto the pillow which smelled like her fiancé, didn’t jump up and cross her legs as she would do when she and Ktori would get ready for a movie, instead she gracefully folded her legs under her, shimmied down until her arms would rest comfortably crossed against the arm rest, and gently lay her chin against them. From there she listened to the sound of her breathing, the distant sound of traffic and the ticking of the clock. She didn’t know why, but this silence always felt heavier to her than if the room were totally silent. As if the clock and the cars so far away were a reminder that, while for her it felt as if time had stopped, the rest of the world still went on and time counted down. But counted down to what?

Tick.

Her mind felt dead.

Tock.

But behind that wall, something was causing this mood.

Tick.

She really just wanted to curl up with Ktori and sleep.

Tock.

But she really didn’t.

Tick.

No sleep.

Tock.

No answers.

Tick.

A deep sigh.

Tock.

A tear escaped.

She felt as if she were missing out on something, some greater adventure than what was here in this room, this apartment, this city, but she wouldn’t up and leave, she’d never do that to the man who waited patiently for her back in their room. She couldn’t. He was her best friend, the one person who had done everything by her side since she had been little, and even when he had disappeared all that time ago, she had still felt him there, even though he had been so far away. But she couldn’t deny that she wanted to go. She wanted to see everything she could, hear all those sounds and smell things and experience places she’d only ever heard people talk about. Her feet itched to board a plane and to see the corners of the world, but she felt stuck? Did she really feel stuck, was that the word, or was it something else, she didn’t entirely know, but it was close enough, she supposed. It felt as though she were drowning under this boring place with only the joys of Ktori to keep her spirits up.

Which was dumb.

Was it dumb?

She sighed again, how often she did that.

Maybe she would go see Tsu tomorrow, drag Kato and Annabelle and Ktori out to that dancing place they went to every now and then. Maybe this time, she’d get Ktori to learn one of those trickier dances she so loved.

Looking around her home, her eyes settled on the clock and simply watched for a while as the second hand went round.

Tick.

One more second.

Tock.

She would get up eventually.

Tick.

Eyes drifted shut.

Tock.

A blanket was put around her shoulders.

Tick.

He stayed watch as she slept.

Tock.

The world went on.
Just for starters because I know a lot of you have heard I'm taking some characters out of tGB; No I am not leaving tGB, yes I am cutting back on my characters due to OOC reason, and no Saph is not one of the characters who is going to be departing. Even though this piece may sound like she wants to go, she's staying. Really this is just mild depression on her part from everything that's happened in her short life. She's coming out of it, thanks largely to Ktori, Tsu, and Kato, but some days it's just hard for her. So very hard, but she'll pull through. Always has.

word count 1,144
points to Shadow 

mentioned:
Ktori: Bayflight
Kato: NinjaCheetah
Annabelle: Narcolepsee
Tsulasada: ShadowclawFC
Saph: me 
tGB: Admins
© 2015 - 2024 gaIaxygarden
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holyteeth's avatar
my sweet, sweet princess